this is a lifetime problem. I have humongous issue of FOMO. maybe it stemmed from my two sisters who closed the door to shut me out of the room when they wanted to chat. maybe because i have always felt invisible amongst my family and all i know are in passing, not intentionally told to me. maybe because i grew up knowing no one in my family gives a fuck about me. i hate that sometimes my colleagues eat without me. i hate that sometimes JC knows something earlier than me. our friendship is drying out, i got no plans to water it. after months of the disturbed feelings, i come to realise hardly anyone give a fuck abt me. why am i groveling about this? i blame my childhood. completely. and now, i am to be a good daughter. again, while my siblings enjoy their lives blissfully, accountability-free. fucks. i know this is really not-so-ikhlas of me, and believe me, i am trying to be better at it. i friggin try.