Messy Mind of Mine

I cant remember a lot of yes. Most of the time its a no. Pntm said i dont know how to berbasa basi. True. Old folks and kids are awkward groups for me. Apa orang kata? Tak pandai amik hati. Tak pandai nak bukak conversation. True. Its all true. That is me. But the no.. it irks me. Each time. 

They are more like younger sisters, really. I kinda took them under my wings but i think i care too much and spoil them too much. At end of the day they are still my direct reports thus some level of respect is expected. But i think they see me as a boss that they can twirl around the fingers. I care too much. Thats not good.

So i have been away for a week now. Away from pntm, away from family and most of all away from work. Pntm is joining me in an hour’s time, family awaits me back in sp. work is happening as it should.. with or without me. As the project manager i am in the few whatsapp groups and reading the work materialising without me, i contracted the FOMO. I feel unneeded, unimportant. My alt pm is doing so well, working with my boss on my project. I am not jealous, i just feel a tad MO. Positively this is exposure to my team; yet the sustainability of the positivity is not easy on me. FOMO is killing me. I have another week off before i return. One side - i want things to settle by the time i am back. Another - i want to be back in the middle of it. Shit.Shit.Shit.